Hello world

My name is Ana. And it is really difficult to write this post for the same cliche reason people have been evoking for ages when trying to say something coherent about themselves – I don’t know and I lack the ability to try to find out something pretty interesting or not-weird-at-all or in any way memorable to say about myself. For that particular reason, I’m just going to go with the basics, so that you can form a mental picture of who I am and this moment of “Ana-say-hi-to-the-internet” goes on smoothly. No lists, though. Even I find listing things about yourself a little bit over the top. Whatever, you may have different opinions. So.

I was born on the 13th day of one particularly hot summer. I have a middle name, but is just as common as my first one. I have a great family, but I mostly lack friends ( that might be a thing that happens because I apparently am too idealistic for this “big bad world”. Meh.)and, for that matter, any type of huge need for human affection that you could expect from a person my age in a society like ours. I love learning – and by that I don’t mean that I swallow whole physics textbooks as a hobby or in any way approve to the way our educational system is shaped. By learning I mean acquiring information about the universe around by any means and with any risks – I mean art and a deep admiration for nature or having late philosophical talks with somebody that gets the way you think. My life is pretty much gravitating around school, for I really used to enjoy it whole back in my middle school years, when some stuff seemed way more manageable. I’m in high school now and everything got pretty much way more chaotic than I’d thought. The fact is, despite having a decent middle school life ( especially when it came to interacting with other human beings , speaking up in class and all that fun stuff ) I used to dream of high school the same way other girls dream of the ideal guy. Wholeheartedly. Sure it would turn out to be the absolute best time of my life. And once again, by the best time of my life I certainly don’t mean parties or underage drinking or a whole new world of romantic encounters – nope,not at all. I dreamed of a new bunch of people that would actually stop being prototypes, some people in which I could see potential friends, some people that shared some of my too crazy dreams of being able to make my life count in some sort of way. Not that all my classmates are bad, some are kind of friendly actually, some are funny, some are people that feel comfortable sharing some of their time with me , talking about mostly useless stuff or fangirling over this and that. There are others, though, that go with the “respecting-the prototype-going-all-tumblrish-and-we-hate-each-other-but-why-does-it-even-matter-when-we-can-make-you-feel-terrible-our-squad-is-the-center-of-the*known-universe” type of thing. I don’t hate them, I don’t think I hate anybody at all, I just have to suffer because of them , once in a while, and the things that such people do or say regarding me came hunting my strong lack of balance during the summer holiday.

Anyway.

Ending my bigger than I initially intended talk about how delightfully much high school sucks from the social point of view when it comes to my lovely person, I will go on .

I inhale and exhale books and words and all and I regret nothing . I read because I probably am unable of managing this life in a grand way. I red because I need people to understand and to be understood by, I read because of my great fear of being trapped. A claustrophobia extended to planet Earth.  Leaving the self explanatory style aside, I have to admit that I read lots of things, but I currently have my fantasy period, though I highly enjoy everything that catches something in me, some sort of freaky part of my mind and drags it around the pages. I can’t totally suffer sloppy, useless, stupid romance, though, the same way I don’t agree with people judging books by being part – or not – of the prestigious group of classics – untouchable through time. Contemporary books can prove to be better than old literature , but I guess that is some sort of a taste discussion I am not ready to dive in. The important thing is, I am simply fueled by literature,in general.

What I hope I am going to write here is basically on the worthy topic of books and on the far less interesting thing that the way I understand life is.

Thank you if you read this.

so. hello again, world. i’m ana and i got a lot to tell.

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Pretty Book Pictures 

Hello, folks. 

I hope you are living the most marvelous, exciting and beautiful day of your lives. 

I hope that I am not, not yet, because my day has been quiet boring and only slightly productive, but I am good, nonetheless.

I have photographed some books in the past couple of days and I wanted to share the fruitful results kf my work with you, in a bookstagram-ish experience. I am not particularly skilled, and all the photos were took with my phone, which is not highly qualified either, but I find loads of pleasure in setting things up, clicking on the camera button and then playing around with filters and saturation. 

I hope you will find them chromatically pleasing. 

Scribbling 🌻

It has been about a year since I first started this blog. It was meant to contain my commitment and my reviews, my hope and my writing, a very wonderful version of my reading life and, frankly, it has been designed as a way to escaped my loneliness at the times. God dammit, loneliness. Looking back on those first posts, I am somewhere between snorting, daying of laughter and crying wkth nostalgia. Because, humanity, as cliche as I sound, I have changed so much it is both astonishing and cruel.

I have also noticed that I cannot live without writing. I am fragmented, with no idea of my genuine identity ( if that is a real thing, not an urban myth ) and I need to scribble and scribble.

I also take photos now, with my smartphone, whenever I leave the house. Celebratory picture of sunflowers, three weeks in a row.

I still feel lonely sometimes, you see, but I am fighting it. Not loneliness per se, but the feelings that used to come with it. I am still scared of scaring people away, of being to expansive, too big too loud too messy, of bothering them to death. But I am learning.

And I am going to scribble my knowledge around here. Again.

With sunflowers, your dearest 16 year old writer,

Ana

P.S. in need of a chatartic experience, I cut my hair. More like chopped it off. I am adjusting with that, too.

 

Multiple of 26

I want to fly away from what I have become. So I am gonna write myself down here and leave myself , forget these cold days deep in my pocket.
T for a nose and
O for a brain.
An E for a forever twisted mouth and
S for my two eyes.
Two Ss actually, because I wear glasses.
I & J for my legs, because I am always nervous so I keep one of my legs twisted at a weird angle.
M for my right hand and
N for my left one.
HHHHHHHHHH.
My teeth.
My teeth that blush and explode with guilt.
I can find no proper letter for my hair, because it is curly and expands like a flower. Like me, when I cry. Like my fist, when I shiver. Like my memory, when I refuse to remember. Like my fear, when I don’t.
Maybe Qs and Ws and Ys and Zs could sort of explain my hair, though. They are the least used letters where I come from. Because people don’t know how to put them in words. Because my hair can’t be braided, but my bones can.
X for my heart.
V for my lungs.
B for my ears, when I hear too much. Grass growing and snow falling and the darkness humming around me.

2016 manifesto in my own manner

I don’t know ( I probably can find out, but, to be honest, I don’t think I WANT to know ) if anybody reads my blog regularly. This blog. If anybody cares about the rambling I do here. I don’t think so, as nobody from my real life actually creeps around this place. The fact is, you can figure out, even if you are new around and you’ve never read anything of what I’ve written before, that I am really honest . I don’t know how much  honesty I keep in my pocket in real life, but when I write here, under a fake name and with no responsibility , I do it freely, mostly because I don’t care who reads it and also because I need to say things I couldn’t otherwise.

As 2016 started 3 days ago, I really felt like a change would be good so I HAD THIS BRILLIANT THOUGHT. Give up on this. You know what I am talking about  –  despite my honesty at all, I am really bad at blogging. I’ve tried and I failed, mainly because I lack the patience to write a proper review, I make lots of bad choices when it comes to my books and I can’t, in any way, stick to a plan. To  a blogging schedule, or something like that. I simply can’t. So, I decided that it makes no sense whatsoever to continue. Because it brings me frustration and it feels. Well. Not great.

But, you know, as this thought was settling in a pretty comforting manner, I went on YouTube. Never mentioned here before, but I have the tendency to go binge watch YouTube when I am sad or bored or simply because my brain is a very untrained vacuum consuming bad media over and over again.

I watched some ridiculously long ones and I can’t deny my enjoyment. They were real fun, but, except for the extremely loud intro and the colorful effects, I don’t remember much. And then, a peculiar thing happened.

I clicked, almost unconsciously, on one of Ariel Bissett’s videos.

I love her. Not in the ” oh my God, I hope I am you when I am 21″ way, but rather.. she is inspirational in an uncomfortable way, that being one of the reasons for which I am not always in the mood for watching her videos. But. She was making some sort of review of 2015 in books and basically everything else and it made me starve for something creative. Here comes my urge to write here.

And I have an idea, you know. I have my sort of twisted form of bucket list, a thing in which I will probably stop believing in  when school starts, in 7 days, because that is exactly the type of thing that I would do, but I think I have it figured out, you know, and that it really great.

I always tell people that I love reading.I love it so much, I would like to do it forever and ever. I would like to talk about great books, collect them, reread them, recommend them.

I always tell people I love writing. I love it so much, I would like to do it one day, you know. Write great books. Write plays, write poems, write essays.

I always tell people that I love drawing, painting, art.  I love them so much, I would like to do them one day.Illustrate books, have exhibitions, write books about Van Gogh and feel fantastic about it.

I always tell people that I love knowledge. On all those Buzzfeed quizzes I take without purpose, I choose knowledge when they ask me what I value above all. I am a Gemini, everybody tells me that I should be like that – wanting to know. And I am. Or used to be. Or I feel like I am.

But I have realized I don’t read as much as I should or could. I don’t read things to get inspired by them.

I don’t write nearly as much as I could. Or should.

I don’t paint or draw or try to do it in my own way as much as I could or should.

I don’t learn. I don’t dream as much as I should or could. I don’t grab my laptop and search interesting facts about bees or Beethoven, but rather waste my time. W A S T E, it screams, in the fifth dimension of space.

And I find that, you know, awful. A W F U L.

And this blog is not much of an instrument when it comes to mending many of my issues with time management, understanding and destroying my habit of taking to many Buzzfeed quizzes, but, you know, I really want to write more.

God, I want to make a habit out of writing. At least 10 words a day.

So, when something good comes out my brain, I will post it here.

Also, I hope you don’t really mind me,but I had to put my thoughts around here. I also can’t really keep a journal, because I am horrific at it, but I try to do some sort of a similar thing here. I hope it woks for me this year. I hope I turn crazy from all the places I will have gone and I become some sort of an artist. I hope I LEARN THIS YEAR.

“My True Love Gave To Me:Twelve Holiday Stories”” by Stephanie Perkins – Book Review, Part 1

Okie dokie fellows, I am back once again. As you might have already noticed, my very ambitious goal of daily posts was not, indeed, reached, the same way my holiday TBR is still mostly untouched, a fact I am deeply ashamed by, because I haven’t been reading much lately and that is a truly hurtful thing.

Now, you see, because of my very real shame that hit me like a tsunami last night, when I was peacefully trying to fall asleep after watching a very, very nice movie (“A Good Year”,2006 – check it out, it is funny and really relaxing, if you ask me. Moreover, it is about wine and France and London and it is really culturally attractive.), I decided that I should really do some reading. So I got onto a collection of stories that I have started reading back in October and then left aside because the time was , um , not appropriate. But ’tis the season, dear people.

The time had come for Stephanie Perkins’ story collection “My true love gave to me”. It has a nice cover and a truly wonderful festive atmosphere. Along with a dozen of romantic – at least slightly- stories.

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I only read ( or skimmed through) half of them , out of which I really, really liked – smiling dubiously at the screen of my Kindle, my heart fluttering at the perfectness of the whole thing- half. I’m going to write a super duper short review for each of them and maybe rate them because, duh, I am the one and only judge this world has ever seen. SO, ONTO THE STORIES THEN.

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By the way, I wanted to point out that the cover is not random at all, every pair drawn came from one of the 12 stories. Nice, right?
  1. “MIDNIGHTS” by Rainbow Rowell – This one I read back in October, but it was a delight. With all the discouraged romance, still delightful, still beautifully written, still absorbing, still Rainbow Rowell keeping it simple and making my life miserbale because, hello, the truth always lies somewhere else.

92.75%, let’s say. I am really bad with ratings, so excuse me.

2. “POLARIS IS WHERE YOU’LL FIND ME” by Jenny Han – I’ve read     almost all of Jenny Han’s books and the thing I most;y likes in them was the family element. So warm, so nice, so much humanity there.  That has usually kept me reading and reading, the prospect of nearness and tenderness and the idea of home. The familiarity. But, for Santa Claus’s sake, I was annoyed by this story, mainly because it felt so, so juvenile. I get that the narrator is 15 and the only human (???) in Polaris, where elves and Santa live in peace with the short days and the long nights. I kept reading, thinking that, at some point, I would start enjoying it, but I didn’t actually , so. Meh for me. Too… sweet, I suppose. Too…quirky.

73.236% here.

3.”IT’S A YULETIDE MIRACLE, CHARLIE BROWN” by Stephanie Perkins – If anybody ever asks me what the title means , I won’t know to say, funnily enough. I started wrongly, by giving you the idea that I had any type of problem with this story, but I. Did. Not. It was all sorts of wonderful and creative and made me smile a very big and true smile. It was great, like every other thing Stephanie Perkins wrote. Which is really surprising, tacking into account that I have the tendency to avoid romance for it strikes no chord in me. Her work does. This story did. Brilliant.

98.999%, just because.

4. “TEMPORARY SANTA” by David Levithan – Ok, this one had a weird premise, I think. A sorta illegal and stupid one, as far as I understand it. Didn’t like it at all, mainly because I couldn’t find it rational. Weird, weird, weird.

60.33%, I suppose.

5.”KRUMPUSLAUF” by Holly Black – Damn, I’ve just said that David Levithan’s story made no sense in my head? I take it back. Because, as much as I’ve tried, this story was a “no” for me. I get the creepiness, I get the whole idea she had with refusing to write some stereotype Christmas love story, but it was more violent than it needed to be and less logical than anything else. So, um, I didn’t actually get to finish it.

6.”WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE, SOPHIE ROTH?” – Gayle Forman – This might have been the less sad, depressing and dramatic work of Gayle Forman’s that I read and it was sooo nice. I really liked it, in a very twisted way, because it talked about peculiarity and not belonging. Alienation. I like those things. Really nice, touching slightly more profound subjects than the other ones. I liked it so very much, it is a 97% to me. And it will forever be.

This was it for today, people of winter. I will ( to be read as “I probably won’t, but hope I will, because that is exactly the level of my devotion”) post smallish reviews for the rest of them as well, when I finish reading them.

Have a nice time dreaming of snow, fellows, I’ll be back. Soon. * dramatic noises in the background*

 

For you only

I haven’t posted in three days, because Christmas has been happening and it made me really happy. I don’t know for how long I’ll be able to write here – I am trying to make this feel like a telephone call, you know, I have no idea if it works, I really hope it does.

I want to say “Merry Christmas”. I don’t care who reads this, it’s therapy enough for me to write this. A blessing to all of you.

I hope you are well, I hope you are loved. I don’t know if you celebrate Christmas, maybe you don’t, so Merry Anything.

I hope the weather has a good enough color for you, I hope you have faith an stars. I hope you can hear music and read books and shower yourself in the miracle of what this world is.

I hope you found yourself in shapes and mirrors and clocks and the back of your rooms. I hope you look at the sky and it smiles back at you. I hope you smile at somebody and make their hearts tingle. I hope you are well.

I hope you’ve tried chocolate and I hope you can run. Not away, but run, free yourself. I hope you can travel. I hope you have traveled. I hope you want to see it all and understand it all. I hope you are curious.

 

I hope you find solace in books. I hope you find  it all in art. I hope you know what to do with your life and I hope you regret nothing.

I hope you let grief wash over you and welcome fear at your table, to teach it how to behave. I hope you welcome light in your heart, through your cracks and through holes too meaningful.

I hope you don’t find this overwhelmingly cheesy. I hope you get my good thoughts and hang them in your Christmas trees and in your ear holes. Wear my small presence like cheap earrings, once and then forgotten.

I hope you are all good and incredibly and ridiculously festive.

Love forever ,* cheesy cheesy cheesy , but it is Christmas , is it not?*

Ana

Words That Sting And Sing and Fly

Hello, hello, how are your last days of December? Mine are fine, but they don’t look like December, not in the very least. I have flowers blooming in my garden and green green green grass growing everywhere and it makes the Christmas spirit commit suicide. It is not even cold. So I am up for floral Christmas this year and not even that mad about it, now that I’m thinking about how nice it sounds – floral Christmas. The Earth laughing in colors around small lights and evergreen trees. Special, right?

So special it would need a word of itself. A word for everything, wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing. And by that I don’t mean leaf, leaves, tree, trees, cookie, cookies,  sheet, sheets, hour, hourglass, flower, bouquet, but thisfeelingIhaveinmychestwhenitachesfromtheneedofhumanaffection .  That type of self defining and independent word.A word that would act in the wordsociety the same way feminists act in a society made of women and men.  Whimsical and made out of laughter. A word to get it all. A word so full, words so full, that we would not need sentences or grammar or spelling – no, we would just get some syllabi out through our gritted teeth and we would be understood. Fully , completely.

I believe in such extraordinary words – words that name it that shall not be named, words that break and mend, words you can dive into and never get out of. Portal-words, magic-words, spells and darkness humming around blazing light. Simple words and careful ones. They are my myth, my belief and my hope. Words. And if I find them, the true ones, I hope I won’t be able to ever write them down. Because when bumping against my skull, they would lose some flavor. When fighting their way through my veins, they would lose their rhythm.

But I sort of stumble over mythical words. Not indeed mythical, but rather interesting. Peculiar. Filled with sense and understanding. I collect such words. And I decided to write them here today. Without definition, if I find it important for you to think about it a little , even if you don’t have the time to look it up in the dictionary. Just absorb letters, they are a nice conditioner for your soul.

By the way, they are not all in English, obviously. Also, I am going to write them with various colours, in various ways, because I think it is a good idea. Might turn out to be a difficult to read thing, but I am still in artist-mood today, so please allow me my little colors.

KENOPSIA – THE EERIE, FORLORN ATMOSPHERE OF A PLACE THAT IS USUALLY BUSTLING WITH PEOPLE BUT THAT IS NOW ABANDONED AND QUIET .

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o  n  i  s  m

t h e    frustration   o f  b e i n g   stuck  in  j u s t   one   b o d y, t h a t   in  ha  bi  ts   only   one   place   at    a   t i m e

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Quint Buchholz (German, b. 1957, Stolberg, Germany) – Der Flug (The Flight), 1987 Paintings

ir i d esc e n    t  – producing a display or rainbowlike colors

E P I P H A N Y – a moment of sudden revelation

.

brontide: pronunciation:

pronunciation |  “am-u-‘ran-THEn:

pronunciation |:

I am going to stop now and maybe edit this later with more various words. Because words are nice, but my mood is not and I feel like cheering up a bit with some shots of strong words, nice, burning ones. See you tomorrow, with an original “tag”, I hope, because I really don’t like the ones going around. May the words be with you !

The Very Festive “Christmas Song” Book Tag

You may or may not have noticed that I shamelessly broke my promise. Didn’t write a word yesterday, not even one. And I don’t feel guilty about it, because I painted and it’s fair enough for me.

It’s 7PM right now, but I had a strange day and it feels like 1AM . I want to sleep. And by sleep I don’t mean kindly leave myself into a self sufficiency sweet and powerful enough to get my brain into an”Obliviate” state, but rather sleep-die. Sleep-disconnect. Sleep-act like that guy from “Avatar” when he got out of the blue body. Sleep-shut everything off for a while. Sleep- zoom out and figure things out. Sleep-allow yourself the time to gently and carefully fold your ideas, the way you do with your clothes, arranging them by color and length.

For no particular reason.

I don’t have anything in mind today, anything I can write a decent amount of words about without stumbling and falling into a sleepless state, and I don’t feel sarcasm under my skin either, poking its way through my fingers. That’s what not having any idea how to zoom out make me feel. An almost nice person.

Taking this into account, I am going to write a different type of thing today, one that I am not really accustomed to – I’m going to do a taaaaag. A type of post that is quite informational and cheerful, if you think about it. So, as only three days are left between me and Christmas, I decided ( after really trying not to fit into the pattern and 15 minutes of searching a set of enjoyable questions spring-related) that I would do:

THE CHRISTMAS SONG BOOK TAG

1) “You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch” – Name a villainous character you couldn’t help but love.

*I am already dealing with the “Have I ever read any book…what is this question.. do I know any character at all?” syndrome, so it is going pretty well.*

I could obviously choose Snape or Sebastian a.k.a. Jonathan here, but I’m pretty sure every other person on the planet did it , so me and my unearthly independence of thought shall not allow such a thing as a stereotypical answer, so I am going to go with… Sauron. Neah, just kidding, he is way too purely evil for such a nice person like myself.

My truthful answer shall be the Darkling from the “Grisha” trilogy. I have to be honest here and to admit the fact that I liked every single thing he said, did or destroyed in those books. Because, as much as I would like to deny it, his power- summoning the darkness- , the way his and Alina’s powers fitted so nicely, his very, very, very tumultuous past and his slightly psychotic behavior never, ever bothered me, not even a little. Also, those last words he said to the ever naive Alina, the revelation of his real name and his vulnerability altogether were the only things that made me sob during reading that series, which I both liked and disliked, as always. And by sob, I am talking about shedding some tears at 4AM back in August and some way too shaky breaths muffled by my pillow.

2)”All I Want For Christmas Is You” – Which book do you most hope to see under your Christmas tree this year?

Whereas I lack the ability to recall things about books I read, I own the very advanced skill to add books to my “Wishlist” on every online library ever. So I know the answer to this one. Really simple, I suppose, but the book I would really love to get this year – and I am perfectly aware that I won’t – is the illustrated copy of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” – written by the queen herself, J.K. Rowling and illustrated by Jim Kay.  I saw it in flesh when I went to Bucharest last month and..and… let’s avoid inserting words here, because the beauty of that book is not translatable. You have to see it and touch it and hold it to know. Magic.

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Not my picture, obviously, but I am going to leave it here for you to gaze at and admire.
3)”Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer” – Name a character that overcomes major obstacles and learns to believe in themselves.
Well, taking into account the fact that almost every single book I’ve ever read had this component of self growth and learning to believe in yourself, it is really difficult to choose. Celaena Sardothien (whose real name was not used so that innocent people wouldn’t be spoiled) from “Throne of Glass” series by Sarah J. Maas, Vin from “Mistborn”, Kelsea from “The Queen of the Tearling”, Julliete from “Shatter Me”, Cress from “The Lunar Chronicles”, Heather from “Panic”, Lena from “Delirium”, Inej and Kaz from “Six of Crows”, Alina from “Grisha”, Kat from “Fangirl”, Mare from “The Red Queen”, Violet from “All the Bright Places”, Fire, Bitterblue and Katsa from “Graceling Realm”.
It doesn’t really matter what YA book you open, you will, for sure, find somebody struggling with believing in himself. These are just some examples that came to my mind , characters that aren’t as popular and Katmiss, Tris, Percy and Harry, but overcome the same processes by embracing themselves.
4)”Santa Clause is Coming to Town” – a) Which character do you think is at the top of the naughty list an b) which character do you think is at the top of the nice list?
Okay, this is way too easy. a) – Sauron, obviously. Seriously now, did you really think Voldemort could take his place? Not really, from my point of view. b) – Well, I have no idea. Really, I don’t think all that much about the nice people in books. But I suppose Jem is there, on the top of the nice list. Because…well, because he is Jem.
5)”Frosty the Snowman” – Which book just melts your heart?
None. My soul is made of wind and ice and stone and no book can get to it. Not even the ones about suicide and mental illness or the over-fluffy YAs I had the mischance  to read, forced by no one, this year.
6)”Feliz Navidad” – Pick a book that takes place in a country other than your own.
Taking into account that absolutely no book, except for the Romanian ones, takes place in Romania, I could pick anything. Because almost everything takes place in America, the UK, all over Europe or in a parallel universe. So…
7)”It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” – Which Christmas book do you use to spread the Christmas joy.
Brace yourselves, here come my personal classics. Everything and anything Harry Potter, even if we are talking about J.K. Rowling’s groceries list –  not really, but Harry Potter tales never fail to bring such a wonderful joy in my stone cold heart. “Stardust” by Neil Gaiman, as well as “The Hobbit” and The “Lord Of The Rings” series. The last three mentions might be influenced by my great love for fantasy and the fact that I read all these books on Christmas break, cup of hot cocoa in my hand, so the atmosphere is still with me. I may also note the fact that I generally associate fantasy, magic and a badass plot to happiness and winter holidays, so these books might not work for everybody.
8)”Sleigh Ride” – Which character would you choose to spend the holidays with?
This is a very, very tough question. But I think that I would choose Kell from “A Darker Shade Of Magic” to share my Christmas with. Because I like him very much and I would really love to visit some other particularly interesting wolds that happen to intersect in London.
9)”Baby It’s Cold Outside” – which book, that you didn’t like, would you sacrifice to a fire to warm yourself up in the cold?
Look, let’s be clear, I do not and will not sacrifice books in such purposes, but taking into account the fact that I really want to finish these 10 seasonal question, I am going to go with the 2nd, 3rd and 4th books of “Fallen” by Lauren Kate. Will not explain.
10)”Do You Hear What I Hear?” – Which book do you think everyone should read?
I really don’t know what to choose here, because, whereas I have many suggestions  – especially YA ones – for everybody, all the time, I don’t know what to recommend to the whole planet. Oh, actually I do. “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry . If you click on the name, you will be teleported to his Goodreads page. There, you can mark “The Little Prince” as “To Be Read” or ” currently reading” and thank me later.
Seriously talking, it is one of the best books I’ve ever, ever read. Because it sums up some principles that have the potential to change you. And that is the most wonderful thing.
Yeepee. Finally done with this overly festive tag. Hope you enjoyed my very qualified answers, I will try to return tomorrow with something new to say.

 

 

Childhood Movies & Bits of Russian History

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 Heart, don’t fail me now
 Courage, don’t desert me
 Don’t turn back now that we’re here.

Really inspired, aren’t I?

Have I fallen into the deep pool of melancholy? Yes. Oh, and how I have, but it doesn’t bother me, not in the very least.

Because having rewatched “Anastasia” tonight, after so many years, has brought lots of things back on my mind and gave me an idea for today’s post. The one which was not, in fact, supposed to exist, due to my greatness.

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I was blunt in my way of explaining that title I wrote there and I’m just realizing it, but I am not going to press “Delete” because I want you to feel like you are listening to me rambling about one of the only coherent things left of my wondrous childhood. Which you basically are, after all.

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Ten years ago today ( I have no idea whether the date is the 19th of December or not, but it was cold outside and snow was falling hard and the house was warm and smelled of burnt earth, so I am just going to pretend, for better aesthetics, that it was the 19th of December.).

Ten years ago today – or something like that – my parents came home with a cassette. We used to have this machine in which we would introduce the cassettes and watch movies. Cartoons. “The Titanic” one million times. That time, it was “Anastasia”. People had come at our house for some sort of loud celebratory reunion, I have no idea what it was. But on the small screen of the voluminous TV we had back then, the tale of a lost Russian princess was taking form. And I remember how my father accidentally stepped on the small piano I had back then and how I couldn’t bring myself to care because it was cold outside and the translation to “Once Upon A December” has rhymes. I was haunted by this song. Sort of. I was haunted by the idea of musical box. I have been haunted, ever since, by how beautiful the name Anya sounds to my European ears and how wonderfully similar it is to my own name. I’ve pretended, for years and years, that my old plain Ana was short for Anastasia and I was the lost princess of some glistening kingdom.

Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart
Used to know
,
Things it yearns to remember

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If you aren’t aware, this animated movie ( which is not a Disney one, for that matter ) is based onto the controversial death of the Romanov family , back in 1918, and the hypothesis that one of the five children of the family, the youngest daughter, Anastasia, might have survived the execution. This possibility, one of the most approached theories of the 20th century, was demonstrated to be false during the 70s.

The plot surrounds the journey of the true Anastasia, ten years after the Revolution, in 1926,struggling to find her family, as she couldn’t remember a thing about her past, Dimitri  – the kid who had saved her, during the revolution, from being taken by the Bolsheviks, along with her family, and the one and only love interest – and Vlad, a guy who used to be part of the Imperial Court, to Paris, where the mother of the Tsar, Empress Maria, had managed to escape. While adventurous and interesting, it needed a dark side, didn’t it? So we have the second component of the plot – Rasputin, the Russian monk whose legend is closely associated to the Romanov family, had cursed them, announcing their deaths – by managing to escape, Anastasia threw him in some sort of anti-place where he couldn’t actually reach his powers or the human world, but rather discomposed in a  very slow manner. So when he finds out he actually is alive and well, he decides to send his creepy green minions that actually look like some sort of fluorescent bats to kill her. They fail, obviously.

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I don’t want to make this a sum up of the movie, but rather a formulation of a question that has popped into my mind. A question that I feel the need to ask, but I don’t believe I can do it without offering you some historical background.

Meanwhile.

This is the full soundtrack of the movie, simply fantastic. Great. Wonderful. I suggest “Once Upon A December”, “Journey To The Past
” and “Prologue”.

Because, as much as I love this movie –  the characters, the graphics, the lines, the music, the atmosphere , the music again and again – it is terribly inaccurate to the Russian history. Terribly. An euphemism, almost disrespectfully regarding a matter which I have no idea how to approach, because I don’t know if Russians look upon this violent episode of their history with sorrow, or rather see it as a step in their development.

So. Historical context.

The last dynasty of rulers the Russian people had was the Romanov dynasty, Tsar Nikolai II, father of Great Duchess Anastasia, being the last Tsar Russia would ever have. He and his political system were to be violently removed in December 1916 by the Bolsheviks. Two years later, his whole family would be executed.

My question is, then –  is watching and making popular such historical – related works of fiction, that clearly diverge from a very crude and painful reality, romanticizing it greatly, a good thing?

Truth to be told, this movie was what would spark, years later, my interest in Romanov’s history. The reason for which I did quite some research and read some books and.

I’m going to stop here, I suppose, for I don’t feel in the position to talk about historical manners as if I have a great historical knowledge. I don’t. But these things passed through my mind while humming “Once Upon A December”.

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See you tomorrow.

Again, not literally see you .

 

 

 

Plans and citruses

Hello, wonderful individuals, I am back with all my spirit and ready for a full of writing Christmas break. Because, yes, I am officially free and unbound, ready to spend as much time as I want ( a decent amount, though) in front of my laptop, eating clementines ( a not so decent amount) and enjoying life and cold.

I feel like writing about my so called “Holiday Posting Plan” (name invented by me, so it is not really great), so I am going to start off easily by explaining my great plan. ( Nota Bene : Anytime I use the word “plan”, “Home Alone” Kevin pops into my mind with his colorful, yet ridiculously smart strategies. I, for sure, don’t possess that type of intelligence, but I am trying.)

So, given my current state – a.k.a. student on holiday – I’m going to ambitiously try to post daily , starting today and until the 10th of January 2016 – feels very very weird to write that year – aiming to do some boook reviews, some tags that I’ve seen around, even if nobody has ever tagged me because I don’t have many friends with blogs, because I am weird, and basically just annoying everybody unfortunate enough to stumble upon this monumental proof of my genius. Again, note my sarcasm.

The fact is, I really, really want to develop this small small place and I reallly don’t plan on wasting my three weeks of freedom and snow.

That would be all for today, I suppose, see you soon.

Not actually “see” you, obviously. Euphemisms.