I am not really sure how summer holidays are set around the world , but I know that in my tiny, full of vampires and dragons south-eastern European country, the humongous summer break starts at the end of June and ends mid-September. Almost 3 months. Out of which almost 4 weeks have passed. That means that I have another 10-11 weeks to fulfill my summer goals and cross all the things on my oh-so-fancy-and-yolo summer bucket list. Joke. I don’t have a bucket list going on because I can’t make myself write one or think of a number of things to do during this summer. Or any other summer,for that matter. Or this year. Or before I die. So, taking into account my inability to write a crazy and nice bucket list that isn’t totally cliche , the closest thing I have to such a thing is my Goodreads TBR shelf. Or the 2015 Reading challenge on which I am 5 books ahead after entering the summer holiday 17 books behind. I am proud of myself for that.
Anyway, the purpose of this post is not complaining about bucket lists or how everybody seems to love summer whereas all my enthusiasm has fled a couple off weeks ago when I started my very successful hobbit carrier and a very faithful relationship with my bed and my Kindle – I think I initially wanted to write about .. well I kind of can’t remember. So, instead of complaining, I think I’ll write a manifesto. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll make myself write that bucket list stuff. But it won’t be a list.
It will be my summer’s manifesto.
I’ll try as hard as I can to become healthy and slowly heal my huge lack of balance and sleep and normality and human interaction. I’ll cross paths with my anxieties as often as possible, so that ,maybe, they’ll be scared enough of themselves to run away, instead of making me turn my back to my possibilities. I’ll read as much as I can and I’ll try to try various things – not only my usual rather contemporary comfort zone. And after reading weird masterpieces,I’ll try to write about them here and I really hope it is going to turn out well. I am going to free myself of this deep struggle of keeping up with all the masks I’ve drawn for myself. ‘Cause the time has come for balance. I am not the person of cheesy things , but I aim change. And maybe I’ll become a better entity walking on this claustrophobic planet, learning how to stop killing my time.
Funny fact, tho – killing your time doesn’t make you eternal.