2016 manifesto in my own manner

I don’t know ( I probably can find out, but, to be honest, I don’t think I WANT to know ) if anybody reads my blog regularly. This blog. If anybody cares about the rambling I do here. I don’t think so, as nobody from my real life actually creeps around this place. The fact is, you can figure out, even if you are new around and you’ve never read anything of what I’ve written before, that I am really honest . I don’t know how much  honesty I keep in my pocket in real life, but when I write here, under a fake name and with no responsibility , I do it freely, mostly because I don’t care who reads it and also because I need to say things I couldn’t otherwise.

As 2016 started 3 days ago, I really felt like a change would be good so I HAD THIS BRILLIANT THOUGHT. Give up on this. You know what I am talking about  –  despite my honesty at all, I am really bad at blogging. I’ve tried and I failed, mainly because I lack the patience to write a proper review, I make lots of bad choices when it comes to my books and I can’t, in any way, stick to a plan. To  a blogging schedule, or something like that. I simply can’t. So, I decided that it makes no sense whatsoever to continue. Because it brings me frustration and it feels. Well. Not great.

But, you know, as this thought was settling in a pretty comforting manner, I went on YouTube. Never mentioned here before, but I have the tendency to go binge watch YouTube when I am sad or bored or simply because my brain is a very untrained vacuum consuming bad media over and over again.

I watched some ridiculously long ones and I can’t deny my enjoyment. They were real fun, but, except for the extremely loud intro and the colorful effects, I don’t remember much. And then, a peculiar thing happened.

I clicked, almost unconsciously, on one of Ariel Bissett’s videos.

I love her. Not in the ” oh my God, I hope I am you when I am 21″ way, but rather.. she is inspirational in an uncomfortable way, that being one of the reasons for which I am not always in the mood for watching her videos. But. She was making some sort of review of 2015 in books and basically everything else and it made me starve for something creative. Here comes my urge to write here.

And I have an idea, you know. I have my sort of twisted form of bucket list, a thing in which I will probably stop believing in  when school starts, in 7 days, because that is exactly the type of thing that I would do, but I think I have it figured out, you know, and that it really great.

I always tell people that I love reading.I love it so much, I would like to do it forever and ever. I would like to talk about great books, collect them, reread them, recommend them.

I always tell people I love writing. I love it so much, I would like to do it one day, you know. Write great books. Write plays, write poems, write essays.

I always tell people that I love drawing, painting, art.  I love them so much, I would like to do them one day.Illustrate books, have exhibitions, write books about Van Gogh and feel fantastic about it.

I always tell people that I love knowledge. On all those Buzzfeed quizzes I take without purpose, I choose knowledge when they ask me what I value above all. I am a Gemini, everybody tells me that I should be like that – wanting to know. And I am. Or used to be. Or I feel like I am.

But I have realized I don’t read as much as I should or could. I don’t read things to get inspired by them.

I don’t write nearly as much as I could. Or should.

I don’t paint or draw or try to do it in my own way as much as I could or should.

I don’t learn. I don’t dream as much as I should or could. I don’t grab my laptop and search interesting facts about bees or Beethoven, but rather waste my time. W A S T E, it screams, in the fifth dimension of space.

And I find that, you know, awful. A W F U L.

And this blog is not much of an instrument when it comes to mending many of my issues with time management, understanding and destroying my habit of taking to many Buzzfeed quizzes, but, you know, I really want to write more.

God, I want to make a habit out of writing. At least 10 words a day.

So, when something good comes out my brain, I will post it here.

Also, I hope you don’t really mind me,but I had to put my thoughts around here. I also can’t really keep a journal, because I am horrific at it, but I try to do some sort of a similar thing here. I hope it woks for me this year. I hope I turn crazy from all the places I will have gone and I become some sort of an artist. I hope I LEARN THIS YEAR.

Books I’m reading and time I’m wasting

I haven’t posted in over a month and I am quite sorry. But, you see, my life was pretty busy. Mainly school related stuff. Term papers and freaking out. Maths and crying. Chemistry and Mendeleev’s wonderfully colorful table. Such great things.
Christmas is coming, though, and that is cherishing.
They say writing is therapy. They say writing is salvation. I sorta agree with them. So I’m going to write today, because I need therapy and salvation. Don’t I?
First and foremost, I figired that my life is sort of pointless. If “.” ( this wonderfully simple sign) is considered something necessary in one’s life, then I sure as heck don’t have it.
But my lamentations are not and will never be anybody’s source of inspiration, so I ain’t going to continue.
So. I’m going to get onto the real purpose of this post. As you may have already noticed, this blog is all about books and frustrations ( Mine. All are mine.) WARNING. LOGICAL STATEMENT AHEAD.
I’m goinf to talk about my winter tales. About my winter bookish projects and the fact that autumn was too short. Passed too fast, lasted less then I’ve expected it too. Unfortunately.
I’m currently reading quite a number of books. Four, I think. The sad thing is, I am not activelt reading any. I am not forgotten somewhere inside any of them. And I profoundly despise that. Truly, deeply hate myself for it. But it happens.

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That is a very artsy, nice and wonderful picture of one of them. Truly wonderful cover, if you ask me. That is the Romanian variant, which I own, very nicely photographed near a vanilla candle and a greenish ornamental thing that is, if you ask me, really pretty.
That paragraph was a true session of self preservation through boosting my self confidence as an evoluated monkey with an able camera.

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Also currently reading “All the light we cannot see” by Anthony Doerr, which is a book that has all the things that I like. All of them. But I can’t seem to stick with it. In any way. Which is weird.

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Also currently reading – and I am really far into this one, but I seem to have lost my interest somewhere along the way – “Winter” by Marissa Mayer – the fourth and final book in “The Lunar Chronicles”. Don’t get me wrong , it reaally is awesome. I just can’t seem to find the right mood to get into it in a hardcore way.
Also currently reading, but I don’t have the book with me in this wonderful place where I’m writing for, Dostoyevski’s “Crime and Punishment”. Which is great, for that matter, but, once again, I can’t find the right way to go into it. And that for sure disappoints me. Greatly.

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Also on my on-going currently reading list , ” The Tales of Beedle the Bard” by the wonderful, majestic and inspirational J.K. Rowling. I love them. Greatly. Love, love, love them. But I’m really trying to read it slowly. Like a story every night. Because I don’t want it to end so soon. I am hopeless.

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ALSO .(Told you I am crazy. Crazy. ) “The 5th Wave” by Rick Yancey. I’ve been reading this for like two months. Not like one page a day or something. More like fifty pages today, another two in one month or so. Just me things. I enjoy its idea and I pretty much enjoy the way it’s written but the way the plot functions has the tendency to piss me off quite a lot. So I left it aside. For a long while.
This is the proof of my wonderfulness for today. Hope you enjoy reading it. I really hope. Also, I am thinking about doing some sort of rule to post daily during the Christmas holiday. Hope I will keep up with my own expectations.
Till then, have a nice life, you all!